Carly Catastrophe

{January 15, 2008}   Why are you still trying to hurt me?

So, I found out yesterday that my ex is getting out of jail tomorrow. I don’t know why, but it really upset me. It’s not that like I’m worried he’s going to come after me or anything, he’s all talk anyway. I guess it’s that that date has been something that I was looking forward to for so long. And now, this girl who’s been waiting for him to get out of jail for 2 months gets to celebrate it and be happy about it. It hurts. As well as that, he sent me a message asking if I wanted the letters I’d written him while he was in jail because if not, he was going to throw them out. This may not seem like that big of a deal but, he’s got this memory box with things from every relationship he’s been in and it hurts that I’m not worth remembering. I don’t understand why he’s trying so hard to hurt me. I did everything for him. In every message he writes me, he apologizes for wasting a year of my life. That’s probably what hurts the most. Every time he says that, I make it clear that he didn’t. I don’t want to give him that along with everything else I gave him. But, it’s like he’s still trying to take it from me. It’s not fair and I don’t understand why he can’t just let me be.

maggirat says:

Oh, he DOES want to hurt you. While you may not feel it that way, you must try not to respond to him. You must try not to engage with him. It’s a spiral I’m intimately familiar with, and it never ends well.

Engage with one of your wonderful friends again. Just spread the love around a little!

sandrar says:

Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog. 🙂 Cheers! Sandra. R.

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