Carly Catastrophe

{January 12, 2008}   How can I feel so old and so young at the same time?

So, I broke up with the new boyfriend last night. The feelings weren’t there. I didn’t want to wait for them to never come and hurt him more later. He was still hurt. I could hear it. He kept telling me that he really liked me. Funny, I didn’t know I could have that effect on people. It was only a week. At the moment, I have a few “gentleman callers” vying for my affections. Where were they when I was 15? When I was younger, I used to wish for the power to make men fall hopelessly in love with me. It seems my wish has come true. I wouldn’t say hopelessly in love with me exactly, but at the very least, hopelessly infatuated with me. I wish I could say it’s a dream come true. It’s not. It’s annoying and confusing. With the exception of one or two, they’re all really nice guys with many redeeming qualities. Although I’m not quite 20 yet, I’m kind of at that point in my life where I’m looking for someone to potentially “settle down with” in a few years. With that in mind, the decision of which of my current suitors (if any) to choose is that much more confusing. What can I put up with for the rest of my life? What can’t I put up with? Any choice I make will without a doubt come with the thoughts “what if he was actually the right guy?” How can I feel so old and so young at the same time?

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